Baby fat

Okay, so I just weighed myself. I am 5’8, and according to BMI I should weigh 160. I was surprised to see 185. This is the fattest I have ever been in my entire life. My arms and legs, and butt, are mostly in shape. But, having three kids, my body is not as forgiving as it used to be. I think my problem area is my stomach and hips. I have this flabby, stretched out skin, and sometimes I still look pregnant. I have this weird layer of fat on my lower back.  My youngest is 2. How is this possible???? After my first, I weighed 170. After my second, I weighed 175. Now my third, I weigh 185. What is this??? I know the main problem is I just eat quickly and conveniently. No, I don’t eat fast food very often. I drink mostly water too. I believe it is the lack of the ability to go out and do whatever I want, if I want to exercise, I have to have a babysitter. And no, I’m not packing my kids with me in a stroller to be stressed out and hear a bunch of complaining and whining from them. It is not going to happen. I’m not going to go work out when my day has been stressful, and all I want to do is lay on my bed, and pity myself for having 3 children that control my life. I do have a gym membership, but my small availability is challenging. The want to lose my baby weight is there, but I think my frustrations and helplessness get the best of me. I want to change this. I want to be more motivated, instead of being in a cloud of depression. I am sick of thinking, “what is the fucking point”. I am constantly surrounded by my children fighting, crying and whining. No, that is not all they are not doing that, they are wanting attention and entertainment, or want to eat. Whatever it is, I am always so fucking busy trying to take care of them, I say, “hell with myself”. There is not enough time in my day to take care of myself. Dishes, laundry, cooking, picking up/dropping kids off, cleaning, shopping, stopping fights, and ignoring my problems pretty much sums up what a usual day looks like for me. I signed up for this when I had  kids. Like any parent, I love my kids, want the best for them blah blah blah. They come first in my life. That is why I am here, feeling helpless that I can’t seem to lose 15 pounds, because I am a skinny girl, living inside a mom body that I can’t fix.  Now, I know many women reading this post may get upset, saying, I am not overweight. But I am, for me. My mom tummy is pissing me off. I just want to get rid of it.